I don't know if anyone is still checking this out occassionally, but for those of you in the midst of the adoption process, I want to post to let you know how things are going after 3 months with the kids home.
It's actually been an amazing experience and has gone much better than Scott & I could've imagined over a year ago when we started the paperwork. To recap for those of you new to our blog, we originally had applied to adopt a sibling group up to 6 yo. We ended up accepting a referral of a brother and sister, ages 9.5 and 8 yo. I was hesitant when we first received the referral to see kids this old, thinking they'd have so many more issues. But, we fell in love with them immediately when we met them, and knew instantly that they were our kids. Really, it was the best decision we've ever made.
I really cannot say enough good things about Logan and Daria. They are amazing, in every way. When we brought them home, they started school a week and a half later. They knew about 10 words of English, and did not even know the alphabet. 3 months later, they are reading and talking in complete sentences (not the best grammar however, but it beats the hand signals we had to use when they came home!). It is truly amazing to see how their language skills are developing every day. They are really bright, smart and very eager to learn. They are fun, laugh a lot, and are really genuinely happy.
They are in a year-round school, so after 2 weeks off they start back next week for the new school year. Logan will be in 4th grade, and Daria in 2nd. They have made many new friends in the neighborhood (we have the most wonderful neighbors who have welcomed the kids with open arms) and at school. They are really opening up and gaining lots of confidence. Logan is very athletic, and picks up on everything immediately. He has transformed from a reserved little boy who always took care of his younger sister into a funny, silly, happy little boy who totally enjoys life (except for broccoli and the occassional chore).
Daria was very shy with others when she came home, but now goes and knocks on the neighbors' doors, looking for her friends to play with. She struggles a bit with school work, but she is smart and determined and completely cute and charming, loving and giving.
Not only have they had to adjust to a new country, language, school, friends, and home, but also our crazy work schedules. I was only able to take 1.5 weeks off when the kids came home, and Scott had to go back to work immediately. After a week in school, they "off-tracked" for 3 weeks and went to day care. Then they were back in school for the last 6 weeks of school. They didn't blink an eye and took it all in stride. We both work long hours which we've adjusted to maximize our time with them.
Honestly, I struggled for the first couple of months figuring out how to juggle everything, and feeling guilty when I was at work and not with them, and feeling guilty when I was with them and not at work. I struggled with depression for about a month, but I've had tremendous support from my boss, co-workers and friends, and am finally feeling like we have a good groove, and that I'm able to be a good mom and still do a good job at work.
Other than typical kid stuff, we haven't had any issues with the kids at all. We have a translator that we use every month or so, but we've never really been dependent on her to communicate with the kids. We read varying views about when to put the kids in school, introduce them to friends, get them involved in team sports, etc. We decided what would work best for us - and hopefully for them- would be to just throw them into the deep end of the pool and be there to support them. It's worked tremendously well. We immediately set expectations of proper behavior, what we expect in school, etc, and 95% of the time, they meet our expectations.
The kids still speak Russian to each other, which we're happy about. We want them to remain bi-lingual, but for now we're focusing their studies on English. In a couple of years,we'll get them back into Russian studies.
For those of you looking into the process, or right in the midst of it, know that it is a big leap of faith and trust that it will all work out. We love and treat the kids as though they've been with us forever. And, it works for us. We realize we are extremely lucky with our situation, and are so lucky to have gotten such awesome kids.
