Back in Kyiv

Well, this will be, sadly, my last post from Ukraine. We arrived 3 weeks ago today, and the time has just blown by, despite all the downtime we've had. I hate leaving Scott and the kids here (I missed them yesterday when I left!), but hopefully the next couple of weeks will blow by just as quickly.

Thursday night after court, we celebrated with our new Balta neighbors, Peter and Charlene. They're a lovely Canadian couple who are also adopting a sibling group, sister and brother, from the same orphanage. Our kids know their kids, and in fact Daria is in the same groupa as Peter and Charlene's girl. The boys are in 2 different groups, but know each other.

While we've enjoyed being immersed in the Ukrainian culture, it's been great to actually be able to speak to people again :) Peter and Charlene started their process over 2 years ago, while the NEC was still around prior to its dissolution and before the SDA came into being. Canada also has traditionally had a much, much smaller quota from the Ukrainian government for adoptions (like 24 dossiers vs. 1400 for the U.S.), so that has also had an impact on timing (the SDA in early 2008 got rid of the country quotas).

To us, it's always interesting to hear other people's stories about what led them to Ukraine and how long it's taken them to get to this point. For those of you who haven't or aren't adopting, let me tell you, it's not simple, it's not easy, and it's a real emotional committment to see this process through. There is very little predicting what can happen in this environment, and it's really a testament to those who see it through over all of the ups and downs that people actually make it to the end and leave with their children. We know of a few who, even while we're here, are having a very difficult time getting an appropriate referral.

Scott and I feel very lucky that we had the flexibility to take children who are a bit older than what we wanted, because those wanting younger children are finding it quite difficult in many cases. I can't remember if I posted about this already, but after we had our appointment and got our referral for a 9 and 8 yo, I was quite apprehensive, and not very happy. I really wanted younger children (4-6 yo), thinking that would be easier and they'd have less emotional baggage. It also occurred to us that with older kids, we'd have them for much less time before it was time for them to go to college. Scott was comfortable with their ages, but I will admit that I was very torn. But, we were not shown any sibling group with a child younger than 6 (who had a 12 yo brother) during our meeting with SDA. Of course, as soon as we met Logan and Daria, I knew they were ours. There wasn't any doubt about it. But, for those families who already have kids and are trying to find another to fit into their family, it can be a tough process.

Sorry for the side bar there. Anyway, so we celebrated with Peter and Charlene on Thursday night, and we wish them the best of luck on bringing their children back to Canada with them. We were hoping to have some time with the kids after court, but court took longer than we thought, so they had to go directly back to the orphanage. Olga told them that I'd be leaving to get their bedrooms ready at home, and that papa would be staying with them to bring them to America. I think they both wanted to leave right then and there. Daria wasn't thrilled that mama was leaving - she wanted papa to leave to get the rooms ready and mama to stay.

BTW, another sidebar about court for those of you who are getting ready to come here. Our court hearing was pretty typical, and nothing that really deviates from what you read about. In addition to the judge, there was a prosecutor, 2 "jurors"/"witnesses" from the town, the Inspector, the Orphanage Director, us, our translator and the kids. The first part of the hearing was a lot of legalese - reading our petition to adopt the kids, reading the laws governing adoption, etc. Scott and I were both asked questions, nothing unusual at all (why do you want to adopt from Ukraine, how did you learn about these children, why do you want to adopt these children, are you capable of taking care of two children, etc). The Inspector and Director were both asked to say some words. The kids were also asked if they want to be adopted by us.

I will say one of the things that we weren't happy with was that the kids histories were read while the kids were present in the room. Some of it was pretty sad, and I hate that the kids had to hear all that again. But, it's part of the process. We just weren't prepared for it.

The judge called a recess to then consider the case, and the prosecutor and jurors left. About 10 minutes later, everyone was back with the final paperwork. The judge then read the decree that the court accepts our petition to adopt the children, change their names, and be listed as their parents on their birth certificates. Then, court was over. The judge was very nice, and everyone - including the judge - commented on how much the kids look like us :)

I processed out of the Embassy yesterday afternoon, that was quite easy, and am now waiting for my flight out early tomorrow morning. I'm not in a great part of Kyiv, and there's not much to see here. I've tried to get some photos to upload, but that's still not happening. I'll post photos of the kids when I'm home. In the meantime, Scott has promised to blog when he is able, and I'm really going to miss them until they get home. It can't be soon enough!